Let peace take over.

No this isn't about political shit, if that's whar you're looking for, go elsewhere. This is about stress and pain, one of which I have and the other that plagues the rest of my household. My house is filled with heartache, stress and saddness. My grandfather has been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer..and after having chemo and surgeries due to his colon cancer a couple years ago, he made the decision that he doesnt want to go through that again. I can't blame him at all and I don't. But I'm scared for him, and this is what brings me saddness and stress. I can't sleep normally unless I take a pill, so i can't say if thinking about this makes it worse..and so i sit up and i think and think, and worry until just now when, i said stop and it did....there was silence in my head for once in a very long time...my ipod played "The Boat Song" by Ludo at that moment and I just listened and heard. I haven't had that clear of a moment in a while, not since I started middle school. Point is that sometimes, when things murky and stressful, you need to just let peace take over and you'll get through it. "Through the fall, come hell and all, we'll row boat, and leave it on the other shore"- Ludo

a whiny post you don't have to read

I'm sorry that I'm putting this here, but idk where else to let this all out. Im hurt, i feel like crying and i feel a little betrayed. I was great friends with this guy, we had a great time together and we just fit. Now, he blows me off and ignores me..he was my best guy friend. Today, it hit me really hard and i had to leave government cuz i felt like i was gonna cry. I wandered the school and ened up at the band room, damn near tears, and Ervin, a mutual friend of ours, was there. He saw how upset i was and dropped what he was doing to take care of me. Alittle later, another friend of mine, Frei, came and seeing I was upset gave me a big hug. Hell, my 3rd period culinary partner , my class after gov,Brandon even tried to cheer me up and he barely likes me. the point im trying to get around to is that even though i really miss what I had with my friend, I'm starting to realize that he wasn't the greatest friend ever. He was only a friend to me when he thought i needed one. Ervin, Frei, and even Brandon are more consistant and are always around....okay maybe not Brandon but like i said he cares enough to try to help.

So here's to friends like Ervin, Frei, and Tyrsa: those who are around when you "need" them and even more important, when you don't.

So I think I've got too much....

So I've been organizing my room and when I got to my makeup it was just.....well a)a mess and b)over crowded and c) omg!! i didn't realize i owned all of that! It's kinda great and kinda wierd. So I thought I'd show you what I found in the deep confines of the of my makeup drawers. So first things first heres what it looked like when I found it. While sorting it out, I figured out how much eye stuff I have as opposed to like face and lip stuff, so far all I've found is foundation and two lip glosses(in pretty much the same color) and 3 chapsticks, 2 of which I use for glitter application for my eyes. So then here's my shadow collection.. Even more outragous then my eyeshadow collection, my eyeliners were just everywhere! Like seriously I have every color of the rainbow almost! check it out!

So these are just the crayon liners, and I didn't swatch(lol,makeup guru terms) the neutrals other then the white. Then we had the liquid liners...

I have alot of glitter based stuff too, even mascara!!!(sorry that the mascara pic sucks) lol

Isn't it all great?! lol

Spring break tunage( music list number....idk)

Like I said in my last post, I'm going on a small road trip for spring break and as is the custom for road trips, I've thrown together some songs that reflect the attitude I wanna have on this trip. So without far introduction, here's the Spring Break Roadtrip Playlist.(not in this order though)

1. Big Yellow Taxi- Counting Crows. {A great remake off the Joni Mitchell's original from the 70's (click for sample of original)that's alittle more chill}
2. Drift Away- Uncle Kracker {once again a remake of an older song from the 70's by Dobie Gray ( click for sample of original under Diamond Cuts), but much like the last one this has been given the soothing flow that helps create the proper atmosphere needed for this type of trip.}
3. Lucky- Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat (great duet, perfect mash up of love song and smooth music, LOVE <3)
4. Dance Inside- All American Rejects (Not gonna lie, this song induced my crush on Tyson Ritter, no for real, it did......ok, his face didn't hurt the cause.)
5. Drops of Jupiter- Train [best funky lyrics mixed smooth music ever]
6. Accidentally in Love-Counting Crows [To be honest(yet again) I try not to repeat artists or albums on these lists but this song is sooo fun, I had to have it on here]
7. Someday- Rob Thomas {alittle bit on the heavier side as far as musically, but its nice lyrically}
8. Heaven Song- Phil Wickham {kinda out of my normal zone on this one, as it is christian rock, but I heard live during a Downtown Church service (a church that's congregation is largely teens and young adults) and it fits the soothing theme, I've been going for}
9. Hey, Soul Sister-Train ( this is like the quintessential (Big word, I know) road trip song in my mind, its relaxed and flows great.)
10. Collide- Howie Day( It everyone's favorite awwwww song, you know its true...don't deny your feelings!!!!)
11. Come on, get Higher- Matt Nathanson [this kinda reminds me of Collide in a way, idk why....just does.]
12. Wonderwall- Oasis [I thought that since this is so classic yet new yet classic, that it'd be the perfect way to end this list. ]
    

P.S. - I went kind of link crazy so most of the colored words have links, so click away

And then there was march.....

I'm sorry, its been a couple weeks since I've written, it's been a very tiring few weeks though. We had a major project due in one of my class last week and on the day it was due I had to spend 3 straight class periods working on it, and despite having worked on it very hard the during inclass work days and during that time, I had to stay after school for an hour to get it done. So all that took alot out of me, as have some personal problems which are leaving me very stressed.

Things will get better though, they have to, they always have before. I'm tired so everything seems worse then it is, still having trouble sleeping and staying asleep. I need a break, luckily next week is spring break and mom and i are taking a small trip around Iowa. I think that'll be just what the doctor ordered....